Do You Feel Like You’re Just Pretending? Let’s Talk About Imposter Syndrome

Posted: May 9, 2025

Do you ever feel like you’re just faking it? Like you’re only pretending to be competent, even after all the hard work, education, or accolades you’ve earned? You may look accomplished on paper, but deep down, you still feel undeserving of your success.

There’s a big difference between being humble and feeling unworthy. That internal tension—where your accomplishments don’t seem to “count” or where recognition feels uncomfortable—is often a sign of imposter syndrome.

What Is Imposter Syndrome, Really?

Imposter syndrome is a cognitive distortion—basically, your brain playing tricks on you. It convinces you that you’re not as capable as others perceive you to be. It’s when thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” or “I don’t belong here,” creep in and make it hard to celebrate your wins or even feel like they belong to you at all.

And it doesn’t just show up in professional spaces. Imposter syndrome can affect your whole life.

It Can Show Up in Unexpected Places

Trying something new: You might avoid starting a hobby, joining a sports team, or doing something creative because you’re afraid of failing or being judged.
Relationships: You may question whether your partner really loves you, or whether you’re good enough as a friend or parent. Sometimes you compare yourself to idealized versions of others—social media makes this so much worse.
Parenting: If you’re a parent, imposter syndrome can make you feel like you’re not doing “enough” compared to other parents, even when you’re doing your best.

The Exhausting Loop

To cope with these feelings, people often set impossibly high standards for

themselves—working harder, pushing further, and rarely resting. But instead of leading to satisfaction, this just fuels more self-doubt. You feel burned out and exhausted, but still think you're not doing enough.

Over time, imposter syndrome can feed anxiety, low self-esteem, and even depression. Especially if you grew up without much recognition for your strengths, giving yourself credit may feel foreign—or even wrong.

Cultural Pressure Makes It Worse

This can be especially tough for women, people of color, and folks from cultures where rigid gender roles or expectations are deeply ingrained. Doing something outside the norm—something brave or creative or bold—can already feel scary. When you add imposter syndrome to the mix, it can feel downright paralyzing.

The internal script isn’t just “I’m not enough.” Sometimes it becomes: “I’m not even allowed to be here.”

The Many Faces of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome doesn’t always look the same for everyone. It can wear different masks depending on your personality, past experiences, or the pressures you carry. You might even relate to more than one of these patterns—but recognizing them can help you start to untangle where your self-doubt is coming from.

Here are a few common ways imposter syndrome can show up:

• The Perfectionist

You set incredibly high standards for yourself—and anything less than flawless feels like failure. You might be your own worst critic, constantly nitpicking your performance and doubting the quality of your work, even when others see it as excellent.

• The Superhuman

You don’t just want to be good at one thing—you want to do everything, and do it well. You tend to take on way too much, stretching yourself thin in an effort to prove your worth through how much you can handle. The pressure to juggle it all can be overwhelming.

• The Natural Genius

If something doesn’t come easily or quickly, you feel like you’re doing it wrong. You believe that if you're really “good,” success should be effortless. So when learning takes time—or failure is part of the process—you feel frustrated or defeated, like maybe you’re not as capable as you thought.

• The Soloist

Asking for help? That feels like failure. You’re someone who prefers to figure things out on your own, and you feel like leaning on others somehow diminishes your success. But the truth is, collaboration and support don’t make you less worthy—they make you human.

• The Expert

You feel like you never know enough. You might constantly chase more training, certifications, or experience just to feel “ready”—but that moment rarely comes. You fear being exposed as inexperienced or underqualified, even when you already know more than enough.

What Can You Do About Imposter Syndrome?

The good news? This isn’t permanent—and you’re not alone. Imposter syndrome loses power when we name it, share it, and stop letting it quietly run the show.

Here are a few ways to start untangling it:

Call it out. When those self-doubting thoughts show up, label them. Saying “oh, that’s imposter syndrome talking” helps separate it from your identity.
Let it be “good enough.” Progress matters more than perfection. Try submitting the B+ draft. Show up late once in a while. Let your desk be a little messy. You don’t need to earn rest or joy by being flawless.
Celebrate your wins. Yes, even the awkward ones. You’re allowed to feel proud without needing to “prove” it.
Be a beginner. Try something you’re not good at—a new language, hobby, or recipe. Struggling doesn’t mean failing. It means learning.
Ask for help. You don’t have to do everything alone. Try asking one question a day or delegating something small. Let support be part of your strength.
Set boundaries. Say no when you’re stretched thin. You don’t have to carry everything to be enough. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re a sign of self-respect.
Talk to someone. Shame grows in silence. Chances are, someone close to you feels the same way and just hasn’t said it out loud yet.

You’re not faking it. You’re growing. You belong here—even when it’s hard to believe it. And that, in itself, is something to be proud of.