How to Help a Friend Who Seems Depressed: A Teen’s Guide

Posted: September 15, 2025

It can be scary when someone you care about seems down all the time. Maybe your friend has stopped hanging out, doesn’t laugh like they used to, or just looks like something is weighing on them. You might wonder: What do I say? What if I make it worse?

It’s okay not to have all the answers, just showing your care can mean more than you realize.

Spotting the Signs

Depression is different from a bad day. It’s when sad, hopeless, or empty feelings stick around for weeks or months. For teens, it doesn’t always look like sadness, it can look like anger, zoning out, or pulling away. Some signs include:

Losing interest in things they used to enjoy
Sleeping way more or way less
Skipping meals or eating a lot more than usual
Seeming tired or spaced out all the time
Getting irritated easily
Avoiding friends or family
Saying things like “What’s the point?” or “I don’t care anymore”

Starting the Conversation

It’s not always easy to bring up something this big, but being a good friend doesn’t mean having the perfect words, it just means being there.

Be honest and kind. Try: “I’ve noticed you seem really down lately. I care about you—are you okay?”
Don’t judge. Avoid saying “You’ll get over it” or “Just cheer up.”
Listen. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let them talk.

Let them know depression isn’t their fault. It’s something people go through, and it can be treated.

Encourage Them to Get Help

You can’t fix depression for your friend, but you can encourage them to reach out for support.

Suggest they talk to a trusted adult—like a parent, teacher, coach, or school counselor.
Offer to sit with them while they text or call for help.
Remind them that getting help isn’t a weakness, it’s a step toward feeling better.

Watch Out for Red Flags

If your friend talks about wanting to die, hurting themselves, or if you see signs they’re thinking about suicide (like giving away stuff or saying goodbye), take it seriously.

· Ask directly: “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” It won’t put the idea in their head—it shows you care.

Stay with them if you can.
Remove anything dangerous if possible.
Call 911 (in the U.S.) if it feels like an emergency.
Share the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline—it’s free, open 24/7, and you can text or call.

Keep Showing Up

Helping a friend isn’t about one big talk, it’s about being consistent.

Send a text: “Thinking of you.”
Invite them to do something low-key, like watching a movie or going for a walk.
Remind them they matter, even if they don’t feel like it right now.
Celebrate small wins with them, like making it to school or trying something new.

Don’t Forget About You

Supporting a friend can be tough. Make sure you also:

Talk to someone you trust about what’s going on.
Take breaks and do things you enjoy.
Remember—you can be a supportive friend, but you can’t do it all alone.

It’s Okay to Struggle

Being a teenager is tough. Between school pressure, friendships, family expectations, and maybe even a job, life can feel overwhelming. On top of that, your body and brain are still growing and changing. Hormones can make emotions even harder to manage.

So, if your friend is struggling, it doesn’t mean they’re weak or broken. It means they’re human.

Depression is not their fault, and they don’t need to feel ashamed about what they’re going through. Just like you wouldn’t blame someone for having asthma or a broken bone, you don’t blame someone for having depression.

One of the most powerful things you can do as a friend is to let them know it’s okay not to be okay—and that they don’t have to go through it alone.