How to Help Your Child If They Have Anxiety About Going Back to School

The start of a new school year can bring excitement for some kids-but for others, it brings worry, fear, and even tears. If your child is feeling anxious about going back to school, you're not alone. Many parents find themselves asking: What can I do to help? How can I fix this or take away their worries?

As a parent, it's natural to want to swoop in and fix the problem. You might feel the urge to reassure them over and over, or even keep them home to avoid the discomfort altogether. But while those responses come from a place of love, they can unintentionally send the message that anxiety is something to avoid rather than something they can learn to handle.

The truth is, the best way to support your child isn't by erasing the anxiety-but by helping them build confidence in their ability to cope. Here are some ways to do that:

1. Normalize Their Feelings

Let your child know that it's okay to feel nervous. Many kids experience "back-to-school jitters," and it doesn't mean something is wrong with them. You might say:

"A lot of kids feel nervous about going back to school after a break. It makes sense-you're going to a new classroom and meeting new people. That's a big change!"

Normalizing their feelings helps reduce shame and reminds them they're not alone.

2. Hold Space for Big Emotions

Instead of rushing to make the anxiety go away, try listening and validating. Ask open-ended questions like:

"What part of going back to school feels the hardest for you?" 
"What does your body feel like when you're worried?"

3. Help Them Name Their Worries

Younger children might not have the words to explain their anxiety. Help them name it by saying something like:

"It sounds like you're worried about making new friends."

"It seems like saying goodbye at drop-off is what makes you feel nervous."

Naming fears makes them less overwhelming and easier to problem-solve together.

4. Practice Coping Skills Together

Teach simple strategies your child can use when they feel anxious. A few ideas:

• Deep breathing: Pretend to blow up a balloon or smell a flower and blow out a candle.
• Grounding exercises: Name five things they see, four things they feel, three things they hear, two things they smell, and one thing they taste.
• Positive self-talk: "I can do this. I'm brave. Mom/Dad will be back after school."
• Comfort objects: A special bracelet, necklace, or pair of "lucky socks" can provide a sense of courage and grounding.
• Counting: Slowly count to 10 or count by twos to distract and calm the mind.
• Cooling tools: A cold drink, an ice pack, or chewing on ice can help regulate the nervous system and bring the body back to a calmer state, especially if anxiety starts to feel overwhelming.

Practicing these skills ahead of time helps your child feel prepared for the first day.

5. Focus on Small Wins

Gradually expose your child to what makes them anxious. For example, visit the school playground before the first day or do a short walk-through of the building together. Celebrate each success to build confidence.

6. Stay Calm and Confident

Kids often mirror our emotions. If you appear overly anxious, they may feel there's something to worry about. Model calmness and reassure them:

"I know this feels big, but I believe you can handle it."

It's Okay to Get Extra Help

If your child's anxiety feels overwhelming-like they experience frequent stomachaches, refuse to go to school, or have panic-like symptoms-it's important to know you're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with asking for help.

Support options include:

School counselors: They can check in with your child during the day and provide a safe space to talk.

Therapists who work with kids: A therapist can teach coping skills, build confidence, and help your child feel in control of their feelings.

Parent support: Sometimes, parents benefit from guidance too. A counselor can give you strategies to support your child without reinforcing anxiety.

Getting help early doesn't mean your child will always struggle with anxiety-it means you're giving them tools to thrive.

Bottom line: Back-to-school anxiety doesn't mean your child is weak-it means they care about what's ahead. By normalizing their feelings, holding space for emotions, and teaching coping skills, you're giving them something more valuable than immediate relief: the confidence to handle life's challenges.