Do You Feel Constantly Misunderstood In Your Relationship?
Does it seem like you’re always walking on eggshells with your partner? Maybe your significant other misreads everything you say and do, and it feels like every conversation turns into a shouting match. Perhaps you’ve withdrawn from your partner altogether, for fear of causing further conflict. Deep down, you may think back to the time you first fell in love, wondering: Where did it all go wrong?
Poor communication lies at the heart of most relationship issues. When you and your partner can’t communicate effectively, constant misunderstanding ensues. This is especially true in the digital age, where texting may prevent both of you from understanding each other’s tone. Your spouse’s words may appear critical and hurtful without them even realizing it. As a result, you may find yourself becoming overly defensive around them—prone to outbursts of crying and yelling. In the end, you or your partner may shut down entirely, giving the other person the “silent treatment.” Your relationship may be plagued with a refusal to compromise and, in turn, a refusal to engage with each other.
On your own, it’s not always easy to tell where relationship issues come from. In addition to new challenges, such as raising kids or dealing with financial struggles, there could be old patterns carried over from past relationships. If you and your spouse want to get to the bottom of your struggles, we would be honored to help. In couples counseling, we can help you solve communication issues and identify any areas of your life that need healing.
Two People With Different Views And Upbringings Will Naturally Experience Conflict
Let’s face it: love is hard. It’s not a fairy tale. Although the beginning stages of a relationship may feel like a fairy tale, living with someone else in day-to-day life is messy. Two people with different upbringings, values, and worldviews will naturally run into conflict. What’s more, couples who say they don’t have conflict usually don’t have very strong relationships. Oftentimes, they are simply not honest with themselves and hold deep-seated resentments that will rise to the surface later on in their relationship.
More often than not, relationship and marital issues don’t come down to a matter of right and wrong. Usually, two people just feel very strongly about their views and don’t have the tools to reach a compromise. In the end, however, it’s better to be happy than to be right. When two people in a relationship are committed to making each other happy instead of expecting one person to do all the work, everything changes. Both people are free to be themselves and no longer feel like they’re walking on eggshells with each other.
If you’d like to bring peace and serenity into your relationship, we encourage you to contact us. Here at Helping Moon, we will equip you with the skills to navigate conflict, improve communication, and build greater trust in your relationship.
Couples Counseling Can Help You Understand Your Partner And Yourself In A New Light
No matter how intelligent you are, it’s virtually impossible to look at your relationship from an unbiased perspective when you’re in it. Your own emotional needs and attachments may cloud your ability to recognize the problems at the heart of your disagreements. Thankfully, in couples counseling, you have a chance to talk about your relationship or marriage with someone who is invested in your troubles but does not have a personal stake in them. Our goal is to help you identify the core issues in your relationship, communicate more effectively, and learn to compromise in a way that enriches both of you. We offer counseling to all couples—unmarried, married, engaged, gay and lesbian, et cetera.
In the beginning, you and your significant other will meet together with one of our couples therapists. Afterwards, you will each have an individual session to discuss your own goals and concerns. From there, both of you will continue meeting in two-on-one sessions. Although having your partner in the room may not seem ideal, it is vital to work together in the healing process. The goal is not to talk about what your partner does wrong, but to discuss what both of you bring to the table and to identify areas of improvement in your lives.
Besides, our practice doesn’t merely concentrate on the problems in your relationship. One of the first things we like to ask is: what made you fall in love? We find that, when couples are asked to delve into their own love story, they usually feel a new spark enter their relationship. They are able to see their present issues in a broader light and understand the story of their romance in a clearer way. We want the same for you.
Additionally, we will explore how the past impacts the present. For instance, if either you or your partner were cheated on in the past, you may have issues with trust because of what happened. Our goal is to help you understand where feelings of mistrust originate and prevent them from leading to conflict. We will also explore any potential trauma you or your partner bring to the relationship. If either of you have a history of childhood abuse, neglect, or even highly critical parents, you may find yourself easily triggered by your partner. By understanding where your stressors come from, you can keep personal issues from interfering with your relationship.
While our approach to treatment varies from couple to couple, there are two major approaches we draw from in counseling. One is Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), which seeks to help you build a stronger, more secure attachment to your partner. The other approach that inspires our practice is the Gottman Method. According to the Gottman Method, there are four major reasons relationships fall apart: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. By identifying where these unhealthy tendencies show up in your relationship, you can improve your communication and strengthen the areas of your relationship that are already healthy and life-affirming. You can read more about the Gottman method here.
No matter how hopeless you may feel, as long as you and your partner love each other and are committed to making each other happy, it is possible to heal. We encourage you not to wait for things to get worse. By coming together now to find peace, you can repair your relationship before problems get worse. More importantly, you can come to a deeper understanding of your partner’s feelings and your own role in the relationship.
You may have some questions about couples counseling…
Why do we need help when we can just figure things out alone?
It is possible to make peace by yourselves, but it is much easier working with a therapist. On your own, you and your partner are constrained by the limits of your own perspective and emotional biases. With us, you have a chance to discuss your troubles with someone who is knowledgeable about relationships and has no hidden agenda.
All we are going to do is fight.
Working together isn’t easy but we are here to ensure that every person has a chance to express themselves without facing confrontation. What’s more, our approach to couples therapy doesn’t dwell on the conflicts in your relationship so much as the sources and causes of your conflicts. We want to uncover patterns in your lives that may not have come to light yet. Additionally, we’ll teach you to communicate more effectively so that your partner can understand your viewpoint better.
We would only need therapy if the relationship is over, so why waste the money?
Even relationships in the worst crises can survive and flourish when given the proper support and guidance. Just because things may not have gone the way you expected doesn’t mean you should be ashamed. After all, every relationship is unique. Some relationships begin like a honeymoon and then endure hardship later on. Others go through the process in reverse. As long as you love your partner, however, the possibilities for growth are endless. By coming to therapy sooner rather than later, you and your loved one can be prepared to weather the storms of life with compassion and understanding.
Improve Communication And Build Trust With Your Partner
If you feel like you’re at a dead end in your relationship, we encourage you to take heart. Couples counseling can equip you with the skills to navigate conflict and communicate more peacefully with your partner. To get in touch with a couples counselor, you can email us or call us at 561-571-1557 for a free, 10- to 15-minute phone consultation.
Right now, due to COVID-19, all our couples and marriage therapy sessions are online or via phone.