How to Overcome Our Fears?
In lights of few conversations I had with some clients the past few weeks I decided to address the issue of FEAR in today’s blog. For those of you who are new to my Blog/Nesletter welcome, and I hope you will enjoy reading this. I think it is safe to assume that we have all experienced some form of fear at some point in our lives. For some of us, fear becomes anxiety and negatively affects our daily living. For others, fear is just part of their evolutionary response to “dangerous” situations in life that will mostly provoke a fight/flight/freeze response. Many times, through my work with my clients in private practice we discuss the main difference between the two. The main basic difference is that fear is based on something that is actually happening to us at present time. Anxiety is all future oriented and is not based on facts. Furthermore, I would say that fear could provoke something positive such as protecting us from danger or making us study for an important exam. When anxiety, will impact us negatively by provoking negative feelings and some paralyzing bodily sensation that will make us fail a test we were worried about.
Many times when we are scared of trying something new (apply for a new job, start a new relationship, move out of our parents house, apply to school, etc.), having a conversation with someone, or just being in a new situation many times it is because we are scared of failure or at times fear of success. The way I like to describe it is that we become controlled by our fear and we can get paralyzed by it – at that point don’t you think we already failed? I believe that when we do not try we are at a 0% to succeed, while if we do try we have 50% of success and 50% of failure. Don’t you think that 50% much better chance than 0%? I sure do think so!!! One person who agrees with me for sure is Will Smith who is a strong believer in the Law of Attraction (as I am). In a recent video he spoke about he fact that “at the point of maximum danger, there is minimum fear.” You can watch it here. Another great video about overcoming fear can be found here.
Now lets talk solution, as I promised we will talk about things you can do to overcome fears.
- Develope awareness about what your fear does to you and how it affect you. Are those thoughts helpful or harmful? If they are helpful use them to help you reach your goals. If they are hurtful just recognize them and let them go (easier said than done – I know!). There is a techniques called AWARE (read about it here)
- Look at the evidence and how would you respond to a good friend who would present to you what you are fearful of
- Be in the moment and exercise mindfulness through meditation and deep breathing
- Think positive thoughts and avoid letting negativity govern how you live your life
- Visualize your success and how great will it feel, even create a vision board if necessary. Picture yourself being calm nad happy when doing something you were scared to do
- Distract yourself with something you enjoy doing such as: take a walk, hangout with friends, watch a movie, go to the beach, exercise, etc.
- Talk about it with positive people – avoid talking to those you know will increase your fear/anxiety because they tent to be that way too
Before I say goodbye I want to share one more video that I like a lot for a spark of inspiration here.