Overcoming Grief in the Midst of Tragedy

Posted: June 19, 2016

After everything that happened last weekend in Orlando, and the terrible things that had been happening around the world lately I had to address the topic of overcoming grief in the midst of tragedy. These recent events actually took me back in time to when I used to live in Israel, and terrorist attacks were just part of the daily routine. It made me think about the people living in Israel, and how resilient they are to everything happening around them all the time! I thought to myself: what do they have, which helps them endure the life under daily attacks, and so much pain and death.

I believe that if you allow yourself to mourn, and go through the stress of grief along with focusing on moving forward in life that would be a good combination for success. It is very important to mourn the people we love. To allow ourselves to go through the stages of grief and feel them to the fullest. Those who tell you “just get over it” or “let it go” are not aware that by saying that they are leading you to compartmentalize your pain. The result of that is pain is not processed for you to be able to let it go. On the other hand, it is crucial to also take steps toward moving forward and continue living. This way, we allow ourselves to have a positive distraction from the sense of loss (and empty space) we experience. It is important to take parts in activities, go back t work, do things we enjoy, and surround ourselves with supporting and loving people.

In the beginning, you would feel that you are forcing yourself to even get out of the house or talk to people. You would feel that you cannot enjoy anything in life, and to some point that life lost its purpose for you. After some time, the time would start moving faster. You would start enjoying the things you do, the people around you. You will all of a sudden find yourself smiling (and really meaning it). Until, at some point, laugh will come back to your life. It is very important to find the support that you need. Support grief is a wonderful idea. There, you would be surrounded with people who are dealing with similar events and they can relate to you that way. Here you can find some information about local support groups by amazing therapists. If you prefer to look for support in a more individual and personal way, you can always reach out to a therapist, like me.

Going back to the beginning of my blog, I would like to talk a little about resiliency. Most of us are much stronger than we thought. Spiritually, I believe that we can overcome
anything the universe throws at us because what they say is true “what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” Resilience speaks exactly about our ability to suffer and fall back, and yet, get up and start over stronger than ever. Remember, that events, just like emotions, are momentary. They all pass at some point, we just have to stay strong and not give up until we feel better. Eventually, things do get better, even if they take longer than we want/expect. I believe that the people of Israel are that way because they know that the situation is there to stay so if they do not move forward and stay strong they will not be able to survive. It is almost their survival need to be resilient. If we do not to fall behind and fail in life, we have to find that survival need in us and find the strength to move forward.