Why Does Change Have to be Uncomfortable?
Hello Everyone! It has been a long time since I wrote my blog. The rollercoaster of life becomes funny sometimes, in how what we plan ahead ends up getting in the way of what actually happens. Initially, when I began writing this blog I was single, living the life with my (then) boyfriend. Now, I am a married, entrepreneur mother of 2 (28 month daughter and 10 month old son). Life truly changed for me in the past two years. I got so used to reply to all my emails right away, taking care of all my duties and responsibilities right on the spot. Now, I have several reminders to make sure I complete the most basic tasks, such as calling my mother in law once a week. 😃😃😃 This changes in my life made me change many other aspects of how I ran my house, my relationships, my business, and everything else in between.
Through the work that I do as a mental health counselor and a trauma specialist I am fortunate to witness people through the stages of change. Coming to therapy is not an easy decision for many people due to few common reasons. Few of those are:
- The stigma that still exists around getting mental health counseling (“I am not crazy!)
- The person might not be ready to change (“I will think about it, not sure they can help me”)
- The person may be benefiting from their issue (being a victim can get a lot of attention)
- The person may not think they need to change (“I do not think I have a problem”)
- The person is scared of the change (“how will it be if this changes?”). This also relates to the fear of change/success/trying (next blog is going to speak about this issue)
I like to say through the work that I do I help people plant seeds and grow their potential. The most gratifying and beautiful part of my job is to be around during the final outcome. However, at times people only make the full change after they complete therapy and realized things they refused to acknowledge while in therapy. What I tell my clients many times is that in order to reach their goals and make a change in their life their life will have to change. Some of you must e saying to yourself that this statement is kind of obvious. What you will realize if you really think about it, many of us get very uncomfortable with change and it throws us off balance. Many people come in saying they want to change but are unwilling to do the hard work, or open up enough to uncover their resistance. As Tony Robbins says:
What many people fail to understand is that in order for change to happen they are going to have to get uncomfortable, it is going to feel odd, weird, mechanical maybe, and simply different. If things will be easy and similar how will change really happen?!?!?! We should begin the process of change with the idea that it is not going to be easy (admit it – easy can be boring) or comfortable (for the moment) and prepare ourselves for possible obstacles (look at them as opportunities for growth), and be ready to rise against them all. Starting the journey with those thoughts in mind will give you the courage and strength to rise up and reach our goals much easier and with minimum disappointment. Change can happen if you really want it, envision it and are ready to do whatever it takes to get it! Keep in mind that you have to really want to change for it to actually happen. When we try to change someone else, or when we try to change ourselves for someone most of the time it will not last and will end up hurting us or the other people. change takes commitment and hard work. As long as you have those two components and you are ready for the next chapter of your life make sure to take actions in that direction and be ready to fall and get back up.