3 Signs that May Mean You Outgrown Your Relationship?
When you hear about a couple breaking up or separating, it is only natural to wonder what happened that led them down that path. We often think of the top contenders, such as infidelity, finance issues, and difficult arguments. Sometimes we forget that some relationships run their course, and a couple can feel that they are no longer on the same page, even if they don’t have major arguments or breakdowns.
So what does it mean when people outgrow a relationship? It often means that one or both people in a relationship have learned new things, adapted new ideas, and have changed their perspective on the world. Keep in mind that these are not changes such as having a new favorite restaurant or a new favorite band. These types of changes radically change our lifestyle and how we interact with the world.
Of course, variety is also the spice of life. We want to have a good balance of similarities and differences with our partner. However a radical change in perspective and values can prove to be too much for a relationship. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes the healthiest option IS to leave a relationship when both people have increasingly differing needs.
If you are wondering if you have outgrown your relationship, here are a few signs that it may be time to leave:
- You have different life goals
For example, perhaps when you got together you both did not want children but now one of you DOES want children. Or perhaps you both used to feel fine living in one location, but now one of you wants to travel the world while working from home. Maybe one of you has converted to a different faith. As you can see, the sets of goals in these examples are perfectly valid. However, having such different goals can result in incompatibility for a long-term relationship.
- You resent their perspective
It is expected to have slightly different perspectives. However, if you notice that you have changed or grown in some perspectives, and your partner has not caught up, then you may feel resentful. It is normal to provide them some time to understand your perspective, but at some point you may feel held back by different points of view, Feeling resentment, or feeling drained when with your partner can be a sign that there are more bad days than good days when with your partner. In other words, the feeling of disconnection may feel stronger than the feelings of connection.
- You cannot maintain substantial conversation
Perhaps before you found lots of topics in common, but not since you have had different life experiences, you may feel that conversations can only go so far. If you find yourself invigorated by others’ conversations, and not your partner’s, then you may need to bring this concern to the table. If they are understanding and open to learning more about your preferred topics, you may have a good chance to make changes together. However if they are not open to your new topics or are unwilling to learn more about what makes you feel connected, then you may need to consider leaving rather than pushing the subject.